I just wanted to update you all and let you know how I am doing.  I know that their have been a few people that have been worrying about me after I shared my hardships.  So I will try to let everyone know where I am at and what the Lord is doing in me during this time.

 

However, before I dive into that I want to take a short tangent and share some other things that have been on my heart.  I have received a few comments from people expressing a concern for how open I am in my blog posts.  I feel very strongly about living my life out in front of others in transparency.  I do this because I don't want people to put me on a pedestal and I want them to know that there is nothing special about me.  More importantly, I want them to know that I have an obtainable walk with the Lord, not something fake or seemingly perfect.  It is exactly what the Apostle Paul said repeatedly, "He is made perfect in my weakness."  I want people to know that I do struggle and the Lord always comes to my rescue.  I share these things so that others may have hope and so that the Lord may use my words to encourage and edify whoever reads my posts.  In short my blogs are a ministry in themselves and the Lord has used them on numerous occasions.

 

Now that that is out of the way, I'll move on to how I am really doing.  Over the course of the last week the Lord has been overwhelming me with his love.  It has been so hard for me because it washes over me in such an abundance that I don't even know how to process it., let alone try an explain it to others.  He keeps telling me how much he loves me and how good it is to see me move out from under all of this hurt.  He tells me that I am his beloved and I am finally allowing myself to be okay with that.  I have committed myself to just rest in his presence on a daily basis.  I have never known such a mutual trust before.  I can look back and see how the Lord walked me through every difficult situation and used each of them to discipline me or heal me from past hurts.  More importantly, he showed me that I needed to fight and that I needed to deal with some stuff in my own life.  The Lord showed me that taking care of myself wasn't optional.  The strangest part about this whole deal is that somehow in the midst of all of this chaos, I found my true identity.  I am Christ's.  I am his beloved and he always takes care of his beloved.  He castes out all anxiety and all fear so that I can be clothed in his peace in order to walk in his freedom.  It is so good.  I am actually at a better place in my life now than I was before my mother passed away.

 

I'm excited about closing out my time in Kenya and not knowing what's next.  All I know currently, is that I fly back into Georgia on April 20th and then after that I am not sure.  I am going to take a three month sabbatical and really focus on my walk with the Lord and further emotional healing.  It is so hard for me to even communicate to you the freedom that I feel in my life knowing that I can go a hundred different directions.  I trust that as I am ready the Lord will make it abundantly clear where he wants me to go next and what that will look like.  As I follow the Lord into this season of establishment (part of what he is calling me to next) I will keep all of you updated and will again gladly share my heart with you.  I feel that he is preparing me for some big changes in my life and I am not sure what they are, but never-the-less, I am still excited about it.  The Lord is so good.  He has taken all of these painful situations and taught me so much out of them.  Only God can bring healing through painful circumstances.

 

Please pray for me to finish up my time in Kenya well.

 

Pray for direction for me as I return to Georgia

 

Pray for perspective as I continue to be stretched and strengthened in the Lord.

 

Pray for an increase in faith as I feel like the Lord has placed things on my heart that are rather difficult for me to even know how to be obedient to.

 

Pray that the Lord will show me how to get good closure on this season of my life so that I can be free to dive into the next one.