Wow! It’s been nearly five months since my last update and so
much has happened. Adventures In
Missions allowed me to take a three month sabbatical so that I might have some
time to heal and regroup after a difficult season in Kenya. My sabbatical officially ended on August
18. Through that time I grew frustrated
because I felt like there was a break in my relationship with the Lord and I
couldn’t seem to connect with him in the ways that I had in the past. It really shook me up a lot and caused me to
question virtually every aspect of my life and faith. I kept crying out to him demanding to know
why he hadn’t shown me what was next. It
really felt like I was trapped in this constant state of feeling lost. Nothing made sense to me and I think I grew
so frustrated that I kind of hoped that someone would just tell me what the
Lord wanted me to do. That or I was
going to start doing something because it was better than nothing.
The first week of August, I flew back up to Ohio from Georgia
because I was in a wedding. During this
time I was reconnecting with friends and family as well as my home church. It was hard for me, but it was also really
good. I met a friend for lunch and
basically put everything on the table; sharing all of the things that I was processing
through. It wasn’t until I shared that I
realized how much of these frustrations were bogging me down. However, the real breakthrough happened when
I realized that I was frustrated with the Lord because he wasn’t giving me any
direction for my life, or so I thought.
Then it was at that moment that I realized that he had given me direction,
but I had not been obedient to it. There
were two things that the Lord had been consistently showing me ever since I
returned from Kenya at the end of April.
The first thing that I felt was that the Lord was calling me to a
wilderness experience. After praying
about it I felt like that meant that I was supposed to spend a couple of weeks
on Appalachian Trail. The second thing
that I felt was that the Lord was leading me to close out my time with
AIM. This meant that I would no longer
be on staff for them. I kept praying
about it and those were the only two things that would consistently come
up. After I felt like I had confirmation
the only thing left to do was walk out each of these things in obedience.
So here I am. My last
day with AIM was two weeks ago and I feel such a freedom and peace about it
that I don’t even know how to explain it.
I have spent the last three weeks purchasing gear and studying maps and
trail guides. I am preparing to hike the
entire Southern portion of the Appalachian Trail which consists of Georgia,
North Carolina, and Tennessee. I have
about three weeks and 250 miles of trail to work through my relationship with
the Lord and just be his. I don’t know
what is next for me. All I know is that
I am being obedient to what he has shown me and I have to trust that the rest
will come. The Lord will give me the
next pieces of the puzzle when he feels like I am ready for them. Once I have an actual start date for my hike I
will post another blog so that you know when and how to pray for me. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and
support they have blessed me more than I can say.
