Kenya      Thursday, October 25, 2007

Lord, is there any
fruit to present you from my last time in Kenya?  Forgive me Lord for being consumed by my own
hurt, fears, and inadequacies.  Lord, you
know that I hid behind every project so that I would not have to face others,
myself, or even failure.  Lord, did I
waste my time here?  Did I somehow manage
to make my time here all about me?  It
seems that people here either don't remember me, or they remember me for the
things I fixed or built; not for the lives I changed or the love that I
gave.  Forgive me Lord; forgive me for
completely missing it. 

Lord, I went to
visit the street boys yesterday and it absolutely wrecked me.  Many did not remember me at all.  All that I could think about was the love
that I did not show them, and how many projects that I took on to avoid
spending time with them.  Lord, the guilt
that churned in my stomach and the tears that I held back were almost
overwhelming. 

I know that it
does not end here though.  You are a God
of second and even third chances. 
Yesterday, those street boys were loving on me as I was busy trying to
figure out how to love on them and wandering why I never did before.  Lord, yet again you have pierced my heart and
I will never be the same again.  Thank
you.